Still in the celebration of the Internet’s 25 years existence, we weigh the merits of the internet over its demerits on relationships. Has the internet destroyed basic human relations? Has it fostered it? Here I chat with a friend who carefully cased the plus and minuses.
As we all know, online communications like email and social media have greatly changed the way we communicate with friends and family, Edu Prada lays a carefully analysis.
“It’s a blessing and a curse, on the minus side it has taken away basic human physical communication, I know people who cant even express themselves in person, and do not even bother to work on improving on it; after all they have an easy way out (online communication). For me, the effect of the internet on relationships is a case of weighing plus against minus and not a case of whether it’s a plus or a minus and the truth be told, the minus far outweighs the plus.”
“On the plus side, given the epileptic economy and financial power of the common man, it has reduced the sky high call expenses; one can say more for less now.” On the minus side again, it makes relationships more boring, couples who chat continually get to say many things but end up having nothing to talk about upon meeting physically, and this eventually creates spaces and dull moments, eventually ruining the relationships.
Edu says that back in the days there were no worries with how many times you had to call your lady because the phone was inexistent and the web was nowhere and upon a meet up which both parties anticipate greatly, there is excitement and energy bursts because they have so much to talk about.
He cites another case; “Imagine when your lady wants to greet you in the morning on BBM or Whatsapp, she says gm due to the online shorthand form of writing. But how can an adult greet another in such a manner? So thanks to the web, basic morals and etiquette have been lost. This has become the norm and may cause ripples in a relationship upon when pointed out to a lady who may have been faulted and is unrepentant.”
Edu says that now, thanks to the web more men have access to ones girlfriend or lover due to the social media platforms, hence the increase in possibility of another man stealing away your partner or cheating with her. Ones partner can be in contact with ten new persons while in d lecture hall before which was fair enough, but with the web, its thousands of people, thousands of men. “Imagine how many men send your woman lewd pictures, raunchy messages or even promise-make of providing them with certain craves or gifts that even you may not be able to afford, now thanks to the web, it is said that your woman is only yours when she is with you and it takes more than a woman to look beyond these temptations to remain faithful and loyal. The web has created a vortex for unfaithfulness and promiscuity and this is a BIG minus.
“Have you not noticed that breakups occurring due to a 3rd party has increased since the arrival of the social network platforms Facebook and 2go in Nigeria? You can set your 2go or Badoo location to Lagos’ while you are actually in ‘Abuja’, thus your girlfriend who schools in the University of Lagos may have her location set to Lagos State so you would think shes in school whereas shes having some sexcapedes somewhere in Nasarawa State.”
When asked whether people met online were more or less kind than when met offline, here’s what he had to say; “There’s a difference between being polite and kind. For many, kindness comes after likeness. Most are rude when they meet you onlinein Nigeria specifically.” Edu says he has met a few ladies from the western world who tend to be polite unlike our Nigierian girls who mistake rudeness for standards. They act all high and mighty, being rude along the way so as to not look cheap, desperate or low-class’.
He sees this as a case of inferiority complex and defensive mechanism, something to shield the complex and put up a façade of more high-class and confident appearance, whereas those who are truly high-class and knowledgeable are quite polite & kind towards strangers.
“In a social gathering of people with higher social status, IQ or information the ladies who fake high standards collapse like a house of cards. There are some with high egos who turn rude or insulting upon the slightest correction of information that they previously feigned vestment. The internet & online communication masks a lot of deficiencies. Just as the confession box is we can easily confess our sins because the priest cannot see our faces. It’s the same with online communication. Imagine if u had to confess your sins looking the priest eyeball to eyeball, many of us would cower and rather risk eternal damnation.”
“People are more confident when they arent looking others in the eyeball, take twit-fighting’ for example, this is an easier mode of fighting, cue it face to face and many will cower. More people in relationships find it easier now to say ‘I cant do this anymore’ online and via instant messaging rather than face to face. The web has fostered a false belief, many women hear stories and see pictures of celebrity couples and think it’s all uhuru for them, not knowing the real work those folks put in behind the scenes to keep their marriages standing. Thus many breakups happen online on a daily basis because many expect it to be a walk-in-the park and refuse to try and fix issues, after all there are a thousand men waiting and craving their attention in their inbox or DMs and that they think they have how a perfect relationship ought to look like all figured out”.
In summary, save the financial and economic benefits, the internet has done more harm than good says Edu.
This is one persons opinion though, perhaps you think otherwise, do leave a comment below.